Stealing Valor for a free meal
I experienced something recently that I have to talk about. This post isn’t on my regular schedule, but I’m pissed off about this and need to get it out now, while it’s still fresh.
Monday November 12th my wife and I went to a couple of restaurants that were offering free meals to veterans. Despite the fact that I’m a trillionaire author, our four kids and single income means my family doesn’t have a lot of extra money to throw around. So this year we decided to go to the Olive Garden and Golden Corral.
The experience at the Olive Garden was excellent. The restaurant wasn’t any more packed than normal when we arrived for lunch. When I asked the waitress about the Veterans Day meal, she very politely asked me for my ID (the Olive Garden requires proof of military service) and then told me her boyfriend is an Army reservist preparing for an Afghanistan deployment. The service was excellent, the food was great, a handful of veterans wearing military hats or shirts shared quiet meals with their families at other tables. It was an all around good experience.
For dinner we went to Golden Corral. On their web site the restaurant advertises its Veterans Day free meal, and says no ID is required. I thought that was a bad idea, but otherwise didn’t dwell on it. But when my wife and I arrived, I changed my mind real quick.
The restaurant’s parking lot was packed and a line snaked out the door. A few VFW members and high school ROTC cadets were outside talking to customers and handing out “I served” stickers to anyone who said they were a veteran. And I mean, all you had to do was claim to be a veteran to get a sticker. If you got one, you didn’t have to pay.
A few people in the line with “I served” stickers sure didn’t look like they were veterans. An overweight young man in front of us was wearing a t-shirt, pajama pants and house shoes. A VFW Vietnam vet asked him a few friendly questions about his service, just making conversation. I listened intently. The man’s answers were so quiet and slurred we could barely understand them. He claimed to be an Army Iraq and Afghanistan vet. Then the Vietnam vet talked about his own war, and laughingly mentioned that his unit had to deal with snakes, tigers and elephants. The supposed Iraq and Afghanistan Army veteran gave him a confused look and asked, “You were in Africa?”
My wife and I exchanged a look. The Vietnam vet was wearing a baseball cap with his unit patch and miniature medals on it, and also wore a vest covered in military patches. He had mentioned Vietnam several times. Maybe this guy in line in his PJs really was a veteran, and really was that clueless. But I fail to see how any military man could have misunderstood the Vietnam vet.
Then we got inside the restaurant. It was chaotic, loud and crowded. No problem with that. A waitress seated us at a table with a couple in their 60′s. Both wore “I served” stickers, and the woman wore a hat with a veterans’ organization logo on it. No problem with that either, I enjoy talking to older veterans.
But when we sat down, the woman ruined it by talking to us. Within minutes I learned that she had been “deep cover” for Army criminal investigations. And while she “had never actually enlisted in the military”, her work as an informant made her just like a veteran. Then she said she used to be in a volunteer state militia, and “that was just like being in the regular military”. As far as she was concerned, she was entitled to eat for free.
So within the first five minutes after being seated, I find myself across the table from a military poser. At least her husband was honest. All he claimed to be was an Army mechanic.
Then we asked our waitress when we were supposed to pay. We had been herded from the buffet line to a table, but hadn’t been asked to pay for my wife’s meal. The waitress said, “Oh, you were supposed to pay back there. But don’t worry about it, just put a sticker on. People have been in here all day lying about being the military to get free food, but at least you were honest. So don’t worry about it.”
My wife put on the sticker, but later I yanked it off. I wasn’t willing to risk having anyone think she was a poser.
We got up to leave. I went to a manager and told her we needed to pay for my wife’s meal, and said I thought a lot of people in the restaurant were never in the military. She was thankful for the honesty, and said, “You know, I figure about a quarter of the people in here today are lying to us. My ex was a Marine, and I can usually tell when someone’s lying about the military. But we’re not supposed to ask for IDs or anything.”
While she was talking to me, a “veteran” walked out of the restaurant after finishing his meal. He was wearing an Army combat uniform with Air Force boots, was missing all his patches, and had a beard. An absolute, obvious poser. But he had gotten his free food.
I tensed up. This poser was wearing a uniform that I wear with pride, that I fought in, that friends of mine were killed or wounded in. I don’t have PTSD and am not prone to angry outbursts, but I felt a sudden urge to inflict homicidal violence on him.
My wife grabbed my arm and told me to calm down. I’ve confronted a major, professional poser once before, despite my wife’s requests that I just walk away. But this time I let it go.
I left there furious, and told my wife we wouldn’t be back next year. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate Golden Corral’s attempt at honoring veterans for their service. Real vets can go there and get a free meal, which is a small but valuable show of support.
The problem is that any dishonorable loser too cheap to pay $12 can stand beside real vets and receive a gift they don’t deserve. GC’s system almost encourages abuse. The employees were certainly aware they were being scammed, and as a veteran I could plainly see it. But it wasn’t my place to be the gate guard at their restaurant, and apparently the corporate ownership has made peace with the fact that they’re being ripped off by posers. I guess they decided their noble gesture was worth the massive ripoff .
Any program that gives a reward without enforcing a standard begs to be exploited. If the organizers of the NYC Marathon advertise “Free jackets will be given away to anyone who finishes the race, no questions asked”, they should expect hundreds of people without a drop of sweat on their ill-fitting jogging suits to show up and demand their free jacket. We as a nation should know that we have thousands/tens of thousands/hundreds of thousands/maybe even millions of pathetic vultures in our midst, eagerly awaiting a chance to scam well-meaning people out of anything of value.
In my experience, those vultures are always on the prowl. On Veterans Day, they thought nothing of stealing accomplishments of men and women who have struggled and sacrificed and sometimes bled for this country. All that mattered to them is that they got something for free. In this case it was a $12 meal. In other cases it’s unemployment benefits, food stamps, free housing or something more valuable.
I’m trying not to be too cynical about this. I know real veterans got what they were promised. But I can’t shake the sense that the entire event was cheapened by the liars and posers who showed up.
To the owners of Golden Corral, thank you for trying to do something good for us veterans. But you almost ruined it by allowing it to be taken advantage of by liars and thieves. Please change your policy and ask for some proof of service. The military teaches us that honors must be earned, so real vets won’t complain about it. Make people show an ID, or a DD-214, or a VA card, or a picture in uniform. Have the VFW members at the door question idiots like the bearded guy in the mismatched uniform. Put up a sign outside that says, “We encourage real veterans to savagely beat anyone they catch lying about military service”.
Maybe some posers will still get through. But at least they’ll have to make a damn effort to do it.
Filed under: Afghanistan, Iraq | 19 Comments
Tags: golden corral, stolen valor, veterans day
Good stuff. Me and the wife went to OCharley’s. I definitely appreciate the gesture, but, I knew exactly how the crowd was going to be. I didn’t wanna have one more thing about humanity that disappointed me. Just chose to not see all the posers out there.
Man, my daughter, my wife and I went to serve at a soup kitchen here. I saw waste and no humility from the people that were getting this help. They almost expect the handouts.
Jojo,
I tried not to see the posers, but with that woman right across the table from me I couldn’t block it out. She kept trying to drop Secret Squirrel terms into the conversation, like telling me her son had a “Romeo Designator” which made his job secret. Then she told me he was Air Defense Artillery, which isn’t secret at all. I don’t think anyone could have ignored all the posing going on in there. It really makes me worry for this country, and makes it harder for me to contribute to anything charitable. Good on you for serving at the soup kitchen, but I don’t know if I could do it.
Chris, I’m glad you posted this. Lisa and I are both veterans. I think you know that I was on active duty just long enough during Desert Storm to be given “Veteren Status”. I didn’t feel deserving of free meals…You, my friend, ARE a hero! Despite what your previous blog reads. Don’t sell youself short…That comes from a proud Marine that has a tremendous amount of respect for you. Semper Fi my brother!
Fabian,
I appreciate the compliment, but believe me when I say I’m not a hero. I did a lot I’m proud of, but I’m lucky to have never been in a situation where I had to sacrifice like heroes do. And remember, the Veterans Day meals are for everyone who served, not just for those who served a certain length of time. If you signed your name and pledged your life, which you and your wife did, you should proudly accept the gesture. Maybe next year we can meet up at the Olive Garden and talk about the good old days.
Chris,
Thanks for sharing the story. I don’t understand why they’re not allowed to ask for ID. If it is free for all then why call it “honoring our vets”.
As for the informant who sat across from you, I wish I was there to give her a piece of my mind
Manal,
She wasn’t involved in the case I think you’re talking about! But at least she was kind of entertaining, when she wasn’t making me gag.
Lol..I’d like to give all informants a piece of my mind. Doesn’t matter which case, haha..
Chris, It’s a slap in the face to veterans if Golden Corral doesn’t change their policy in checking for ID. If they don’t change their policy, the free meal extended to veterans has little meaning.
Sheri,
I agree. It’s kind of like putting out a pile of Medals of Honor, and saying, “Come and get one, but only if you know in your heart you deserve it.”
This is almost just as funny as watching those in the Military use the “Hey, im military”-card and I deserve this, that and this! I know that is what a LOT of people do on Veterans day; so, I simply didn’t go anywhere to eat and receive a free meal. In fact, I do what I know is worth doing-where lying to get something free doesn’t come of doing this- a Workout. A work-out (HERO WOD) to be exact; which is dedicated to those specific military mom, dad, brother, sister, aunt or uncle who lost their life in a fight somewhere in a place where I know I was not. I intentionally picked up the weight, in dedication to them (or their favorite WOD), knowing that I am here-breathing and exaughsting my muscles- to remain ready for the fight they lost their life too.
Kim,
A sad story I heard about free meals was from a Texas Roadhouse. They did check IDs and turn people away, so they had real vets eating for free. Then they had three waiters go home in disgust because not a single one of the vets left them a tip. If you’re getting a free meal, the least you can do is tip the waiters and waitresses who are making next to nothing.
Good on you for working out. I spent the morning at the doctor’s with my pregnant daughter and the afternoon laying around with my wife. It was a good day.
Chris, as an Army Veteran, I agree with you that ID should be required.That sounded like a Zoo environment ar Golden Corral, and WAS insulting to all that have served. Paratrooper Jerry Rice
Thanks Jerry, I appreciate the comment. It was insulting to me, and I’m willing to bet a lot of veterans felt the same way.
Thank you for posting this. Not long ago, my children’s father was in hospital and my kids wanted me to visit with him to see if I could help with getting social security, food stamps, HUD housing assistance, etc. for him. His doctors hadn’t given him a good outlook; his liver was failing.
Although he and I were divorced many years ago, I’m unable to forget how he treated me and the kids, and he and I hadn’t stayed in contact.
After discussing pertinent information, I brought up the subject of his military service; I had remembered he was in the Army for a short while (before we were married) during Viet Nam era.
He said he had been through basic training and later assigned to a post. He apparently had a knee injury during basic, and the Army (he said) offered him a desk job. He said he told them, “No way, I want out”, and so was relieved and discharged.
I am an air force veteran and thought that after 180 days in service, one is considered a veteran. I thought maybe I could help him, if only to help my kids feel at ease and take some load off their shoulders.
I told him I could probably get his DD214 for him, and possibly, he could get help from the VA if he had received a medical discharge.
I reminded him of my enlistment and serving four years, and also spoke of how the VA had helped me and my kids, especially with their schooling at university.
He got angry and shot back: “Yeah, it was easy for you! There wasn’t a war going on when YOU went in!”
I don’t know why, but that cut me to the core. With those words, he had diminished me, my service meant nothing. With those same words, my mind recalled why I had divorced him in the first place. I was hit again with pictures (in my mind) of being abused by him and of my children doing without because he had to “go and do his own thing” instead of taking care of them.
No, I didn’t serve in combat. No, there was no reported war going on when I enlisted (nor during my time in service). I enlisted to work and to try to provide for my kids, which he was unwilling to do.
I honor and respect those who served, and who still serve and remember those who gave all.
I walked out of the hospital with a renewed respect for those who have fallen, who deserve respect that is not given, who don’t brag about their service yet wish they could talk to someone about those wounds of war which are hard to put in words.
I taught my children to respect their earthly father, but they and I both know
WHAT A COMPLETE ASSHOLE HE IS.
Thanks.
ps. He rebuffed my every effort to help him.
Though I keep praying for him to get well. . .
I can’t keep from saying TO HIM in my mind: “F*CK YOU!!”
Jennifer,
What your ex did to you was, in a sense, what the posers do to all of us. They diminish our service to satisfy their own selfish interests. In your case, it’s not your fault WW3 didn’t break out while you were in the AF. Back before I went to Iraq I felt like my service wasn’t “real”, and other vets pointed out how wrong I was. Now that I’ve been to combat, I know that there’s a lot of plain luck involved; a service member can serve twenty years and never hear a shot fired, another service member can join and wind up in combat within months. Whether you actually serve in combat is usually due to factors beyond your control. What matters most to me is the willingness to serve, not whether you wound up in a war or not.
I hope you find resolution with the situation between you and your ex, for your kids’ sakes.
Chris
Chris,
Like you I was able to enjoy a meal at Applebees for and O’Charley’s on another day for supper and would like to say thank you to both for their hospitality. Please support the Stolen Valor Act 2012:
http://www.armytimes.com/news/2012/12/military-senate-passes-revised-stolen-valor-act-120312/
Hopefully the SVA is passed, and is constitutional this time. I’ve had way too many close encounters with way too many posers lately.
Chris
I’ve seen them at other times and places, usually the young guy trying to impress a young lady with tales of his survival against unbelievable odds…usually while on a “secret mission”. My favorite was a young guy who claimed to be a Marine…sitting in the restaurant, wearing (I swear) desert camouflage, jungle boots, ribbons and cover… Clearly she thought he was quite the dashing figure. I couldn’t stand it. He wasn’t happy when I challenged him about his “uniform” and yes, “secret mission”. He didn’t even have the decency to act embarrassed. At least the young lady got the idea and left him sitting there by himself.
We’ve got a former Marine MOH winner in my neighborhood. He was captured in VN, escaped and led a rescue party back to the camp. Saved 85 prisoners. He’s not bragging, but he’s got an MOH, Silver Star and five Purple Hearts. And this was after he was in Russia as a sniper.
The Freedom of Information Act response showed he was in the Corps for 2 years and never went overseas, but obviously the overseas part is just too secret for the government to share.
Jesus Christ, I hate posers.
Chris