Oh Posers, How I love Thee
I just wanted to drop a quick note and share this. A couple of weeks ago a soldier friend of mine went to a club and saw this guy.
If you’re thinking, “That’s one badass Major Sergeant Major Special Forces Desert Storm veteran Physical Training Master,” you’re right! My friend, at right, asked the man what group (meaning SF group) he was in. The man said, “82nd Airborne”. My friend asked, “No, what group?” The guy said, “Rangers”. When my friend started laughing, the man said that’s how many tours he had done in Kuwait (!) and wanted to fight. Later he came back and bought my friend a beer.
This guy said his name was Daniel, although his nametape says R. DeMartini. He was in the Dallas area. If anyone knows him, please, let’s make him famous.
http://www.amazon.com/Line-Valley-Chris-Hernandez-ebook/dp/B00HW1MA2G/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
http://www.amazon.com/Proof-Our-Resolve-Chris-Hernandez-ebook/dp/B0099XMR1E/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
Filed under: Afghanistan, Iraq, Writing | 19 Comments
Tags: military posers, veteran authors
chrishernandezauthor 
I like the ring and the bracelet.
I like the “Guido” Jersey Shore look. 🙂
And he made the jump from CSM to light colonel, which many find a tough transition!
(Although I remember an episode of M*A*S*H* where Hawkeye promoted Radar to Corporal-Captain to get him into an O-Club.)
This is just a guess, but I’m pretty sure his first name is “Dick”, and his last name is Head.
“Major, what’s the meaning of this?”
Hawkeye Pierce: “It’s a test program, sir. You know ‘sergeant major’ or ‘lieutenant colonel’? He’s a corporal captain. What do you think, sir?”
“I don’t like it! I don’t like it at all!”
Hawkeye: “Got it, sir. One ‘no’.”
I remember that scene almost perfectly. It was actually the other guy, not Hawkeye, who said “one ‘no'” but I can’t remember his name.
To give the guy the benefit of the doubt, maybe he was a sergeant major who decided to “promote” [giggle] to second lieutenant, then served another 20 years to make major or lieutenant colonel. That happens all the time. I swear.
B.J. Hunnicut, newly arrived in the ROK and being picked up for transport to the 4077th after Trapper John’s departure to the Land of the Big BX
That was it! Thanks, those names had completely escaped me.
The extended pinky finger on the hand that he’s holding his beer with says it all. T.A.H. does a hell of a job outing numb-nuts like this, but only if they’re stupid enough to put it all over the internet. And growing up in military towns allowed me to figure out what the true meaning of MASH was. Like “Kelly’s Heroes”.
The spray-on tan does it for me. 🙂
The only D. DeMartini I could find is a private in Tempe. There are two R. Demartinis and they’re both civilians.
Roger, thanks John. He probably just found some nametape at an army surplus and stuck it on there.
I hope you don’t mind that I hooked you up on Facebook, Chris.
Not at all, thanks John.
Haha I just am curious what the sew shop had to think when they were putting this clusterfuck of a jacket together.
If it was a civilian shop, they were probably just thinking “This guy better pay for this work.” I doubt they cared.
I hope homie wears that jacket everywhere, until he gets ousted, and outed bad.
The CSM of 4/503rd PIR when we deployed to Viet Nam in 1966 was recalled as an officer and he was attached to HQ, 173rd as a Captain. He was on his third war and being CSM of a very active parachute battalion might have been getting to be a bit much. Time to settle back on supervise/manage. He was considered one hell of a fine CSM
Did he look anything like this guy? 🙂
“DeMARTINI” is his drink-of-choice. This is obvioiusly a drinking jacket. Wearing this helps the bartender/waitperson know what to put into the camouflaged beverage delivery missle (CBDM) without asking
Years ago, my wife and I were at a bar with a group of friends and friends of friends. The poser kid that sat across the table from us started talking big after several rounds of lubrication.
He lifted his hand and indicated his signet ring and proceeded to slur, “you see that ring? That’s the fuckin’ Rangers!”
My darling wife calmly asked him, “you fucked a Ranger for that ring?”
Needless to say, he stumbled away, colorfully expressing his opinion of the breeding quality of all of us still at the table, now laughing hard enough to produce tears at his expense. We asked the others at the table who he was and couldn’t ever figure that one out. Apparently he was just Sum Dood who was trying to impress some new friends with a ring he found somewhere.
I’ve never served but I do use quite a bit of mil surp gear for various tasks in my life. That being said, I make absolutely sure not to give the impression that I’m trying to be something that I’m not. When I’ve wound up with a used jacket or something with tape or patches, the first thing I do is pull that stuff off, and I try to only use non-current issue stuff. Old BDUs are a whole lot cheaper than commercial camos for sitting in the deer blind!