No, Dumbasses, Trump’s “Bad Language” Isn’t the F**king Issue
When Trump’s “Grab them by the pussy” video broke, I was disgusted but not surprised. I decided he was a clown show long ago, this just confirmed what a gigantic douchebag he is. In the video he admitted to sexually harassing and assaulting women; however, many of his supporters laughed it off as “bad language” and framed the disgusted reaction from much of the public as prudish weakness. “What, can’t handle locker room talk?” “He didn’t say anything real men don’t say all the time.””Show me on this doll where Trump’s words hurt you, HAR HAR HAR!!”
So I’ll speak directly to those who defend Trump’s words as mere bad language: here’s the deal, motherfuckers. I was a Marine. I then served as a Soldier and made two trips to war. I’ve been a cop over twenty years. I’ve heard tons of bad language. One of my proudest accomplishments when I was a UN cop in Kosovo was learning to say “shit” in thirteen languages. The very first line of dialogue in my first novel is “My dick hurts.” Bad language is my first language.
Ordinarily I don’t use much profanity in my blogs. But today I have to use a lot of fucking profanity, because it’s the only way to make my point. If I don’t, all you Trumpers who scream shit like “We’re gonna make America great again and destroy anyone who opposes us” will twist my words into something else. Fuck that. I’m going to be as clear as I possibly can, so even you can’t misunderstand it.
Not only am I not offended by “bad language”, I actually like it. I’ve probably said things that would make Trump cringe. Here are some beautiful examples of fucked up locker-room talk I’ve heard:
1) Back in 1989 I was standing in formation with my mixed-gender Marine platoon. It was about 6 am on a winter morning, and we were freezing. The corporal standing up front announced, “I wish I had a nice pussy here to keep me warm. But not just any pussy. Only my wife’s pussy.” A young Marine in the formation answered, “I wish I had two. One for each ear.”
2) Soldiers from my old tank unit were joking about each other’s wives. Then one guy got serious and said, “Don’t joke about my wife.” That did it. By the end of the day a schedule was posted, “Who’s fucking Johnson’s wife”, with thirty-minute blocks assigned to each Soldier in the platoon.
3) A sergeant I went to a school with introduced me to a new acronym: FAN, for “feet, ass and nuts”. It’s the smell a group of men create when they’re filthy for days or weeks.
4) At a very challenging training event in the desert, one of my fellow tank crewmen, suffering a near-fatal case of TSB (Toxic Sperm Buildup), was sitting in the driver’s hole of a tank looking at a Hustler with an intense, deeply concerned look on his face. I walked about a hundred yards to another tank to get a hammer. When I returned to my tank my buddy was collapsed in the driver’s seat, nearly unconscious, with the Hustler tossed aside. I asked, “Dude, I was gone for like two minutes. What the fuck did you do?” He said, “I beat off, bro. It was goooood.”
5) My company was taking a physical fitness test, and I watched a lieutenant doing the worst pushups I’ve ever seen. His head pumped up and down like a piston while the rest of his body shook and shivered but barely moved. I told him, “Sir, next time you do pushups I’m going to hold a dildo under your face. That’ll teach you not to move your fucking head like that again.”
6) Not long ago I was at a pistol training course taught by a renowned instructor. Someone in the class jokingly called another student a pussy. A perplexed look crossed the instructor’s face. “I don’t understand why anyone uses pussy as an insult,” he said. “Pussy is my favorite thing in the whole world.”
And those are nowhere near the worst things I’ve heard and laughed at. So don’t preach to me about being able to handle bad language.
Not only have I heard and said pretty much every fucking dirty word there is, I don’t trust men who never talked that way. Disgusting, filthy talk is part of the very masculine worlds I’ve inhabited my whole adult life, and I don’t think much of those who shrink from that language. Locker room talk is real talk, and I enjoy it. Just a few days ago I offered this bit of political wisdom: “If republicans had nominated any reasonable candidate, like Ted Bundy or that homeless crackhead who offered to suck my dick in an alley today, they could beat Hillary. Alas, they chose Trump.”
So “bad language” is not the fucking point.
I understand men will describe women’s bodies in crude terms. They’ll give detailed accounts of past sexual conquests. They’ll graphically list what they want to do to women. Who has two thumbs and has done all those things? This guy right here. Guilty.
But Trump didn’t just use “bad language”. He talked about something he did. He bragged about doing things to women against their will. He boasted to the world about getting away with forcing himself onto women, because he’s a “star”.
That’s fucked up.
It’s not about morality. I’m not preaching against Trump’s sins. I’m a devout agnostic, and really couldn’t give a shit about religious rules. I’m no paragon of virtue myself, and have failed miserably in the morals department. So I don’t care if Trump was unfaithful, or availed himself to the numerous gold diggers eager to let him into their pants. If it’s consensual, I don’t care. He’s a grown man, they’re grown women, it’s their business. I also didn’t care about Bill and Monica’s consensual activities. When the White House phone rings at 3 a.m., it doesn’t matter who’s in bed next to the president when he or she answers. As long as they’re adults making their own decisions, it’s not my problem.
And before anyone says it: I don’t give a shit how much you hate Hillary Clinton. I despise her. I’d rather dive into a pool of kerosene while holding a thermite grenade than vote for her. But Hillary’s complete lack of integrity doesn’t mean Trump gets a pass for being a sexual predator.
I can’t stand Trump because, among many other reasons, he’s a sexual predator. I’m a husband, father of a daughter, and grandfather to two granddaughters. I have a visceral response against any so-called “man” who brags about harassing and assaulting women. Now that several women have come forward accusing Trump of harassing or groping them, or walking in uninvited while they’re undressed at beauty pageants – activities which, by the way, Trump himself bragged about on video or radio – we should kinda get the idea that he’s a lecherous shitbag who uses his celebrity status to take what he wants from women.
That’s the god damn problem. Not the words, not the vulgarity, not the locker room talk. But the fucking pathetic actions and entitled attitude behind them.
You support Trump and don’t care about his sexual predations? You don’t care that he bragged about sexual assaults, agreed that Ivanka was a “nice piece of ass” and said he’d date her if she wasn’t his daughter, and even said “I’ll be dating her in ten years” about a ten year old girl? Fine. At this point, I don’t expect anyone to change their vote. Hillary’s people will vote for her even if an email shows she sold Libyan terrorists the weapons used to kill Americans in Benghazi, Trump’s people will vote for him even if they see video of Putin giving him an underage sex slave as reward for doing Russia’s bidding. This election doesn’t have shit to do with integrity anymore, for either side. If you’re voting Trump because you hate Hillary more, or think she’ll destroy America, or want to Make
Russia America Great again, go right ahead.
But don’t act like I’m offended by Trump’s “bad language”. Because that’s a fucking lie, and you know it. The truth is, I hate sexual predators. Like the one you’re voting for.
Chris Hernandez is a 22 year police officer, former Marine and recently retired National Guard soldier with 27 years of military service. He is a combat veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan and also served 18 months as a United Nations police officer in Kosovo. He writes for BreachBangClear.com and Iron Mike magazine and has published three military fiction novels, Proof of Our Resolve, Line in the Valley and Safe From the War through Tactical16 Publishing. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or on his Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/ProofofOurResolve).
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Tags: election 2016, trump, veteran writers