Radio interview (and an embarrassing moment)


Thought I’d drop a quick note about this. Yesterday I was interviewed on San Antonio’s NPR station, and the interview was broadcast today. It turned out pretty well. You can listen to it here: (my interview starts at around 9:45)

I debated whether or not to share this part of the interview story, but what the heck, why not. Stand by to be impressed by my media savvy.

I fidget a lot. I’m always bouncing my leg, twisting in my seat, tossing something around, biting pens, whatever. In one of the military schools I attended my instructors even documented it in my initial evaluation. In court I’ve had people tell me I spent my entire time on the stand rotating my chair back and forth, and I never realized it. That’s a problem for TV interviews, but not for the radio. Or so I thought.

Yesterday as I was being interviewed I was doing my usual thing, bouncing my foot and moving my hands around. Then without realizing it, I cupped my hands together and started squeezing them against each other. My hands were right under the microphone as I did this.

So I was talking about something serious, squeezed my hands together just the right way. . . and made a fart noise into the mike.

Of course, the interviewer was a young woman. It couldn’t have been a crusty old guy who’d laugh and slap me on the back about it. I don’t know if I hesitated, looked shocked, or what. I think I froze for a moment. But then I kept talking, tried to play it off. Which was probably a stupid thing to do, since it wasn’t a live interview and I could have just explained to the young woman what had happened. As it is, she probably thinks I’m crude and disgusting.

So, lesson learned: don’t squeeze your palms together during radio interviews. This will now carry the weight of the 11th Commandment for me. Fortunately, it didn’t come out on the radio. When I listened to the live broadcast today I was sweating bullets, wondering if it would be audible. The tension was so thick, it was like reading my awesome novel Proof of Our Resolve (available on Amazon, B&N and iTunes)!

See what I did there? I took an embarassing story and used it to advertise. It’s all about marketing. šŸ™‚


6 Responses to “Radio interview (and an embarrassing moment)”

  1. Well of course NPR would void any cannon shots across the bow…so to speak.

  2. 3 Kathryn Greten

    omg, I can just picture that….Chris…what a riot…You write the scene so very well…I can just picture the whole thing….

  3. 4 Mike_C

    Hand flatulence, heh. I think it was the old Barney Miller TV show where they picked up a fella for playing tunes via manual flatulence (quite well, I might add). Someone, maybe Captain Miller, notes that the fella is actually pretty talented and expresses his surprise that anyone would complain. Well, yes, says the arresting officer, it was all fine, until he started playing the 1812 Overture and got to the canon part. Being insufferable snot-nosed junior high students when this came out, a bunch of us practiced assiduously until we could make hand farts at will, though controlling pitch was pretty much beyond us.

    You are a talented story teller and come across as a man of not only honor but also of level-headed, all too rare “common” sense. It’s been a pleasure and privilege to read your blog, and I look forward to your book. As with (I suspect) many of your new readers, I got here via Tam’s site.

    • Barney Miller was a great show, wasn’t it? I enjoyed it as a kid, now as a cop I look back and realize just how true to cop life some of it was. I didn’t see that episode, but I probably would have done the same thing you did if I had.

      Thanks for the compliments, and boy do I owe Tam for putting my stuff on her blog. You’re right, a whole lot of readers have come from her site.


  4. 6 Grayson

    There was a young fellow from Sparta,
    A truly magnificent farter,
    On the strength of one bean,
    He’d fart ‘God Save the Queen,’
    And Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata.”

    And then it gets REALLY interesting…. because I have THE BOOK.
    What book, you wonder? Why, the book of the Limerick – that has all 12 stanzas of this magnificent poem.

    I honestly doubt that the protaganist’s name was Hernandez, though… šŸ™‚
    Cheers! and Thank You!

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